The Buck Stops HereOne of the most common things I hear from clients is that they don’t know who is responsible for conflict management. Managers seemingly bear the brunt of it, but they aren’t sure that is most effective. In a study of 5,000 workers from 9 countries, researchers concluded that conflict management is everybody’s job. Of those surveyed, 62% agreed it was everybody’s job. Only 15% deemed it exclusively an HR role. See that research here. So how does that look? Here’s an example. Last month, I worked with a pretty stellar team that was ready to embrace ownership of conflict management. When I met them, they’d been through some staff changes which led to rumours, disruption and a general sense of unease. I talked to every team member 1:1 before we met as a group. It was clear that everyone felt the same, but up to that point none of them had addressed it directly. My job was to get them to talk about the issues candidly, respectfully and productively. There was a lot of trust amongst this team, so this part turned out to be pretty easy. From there, they designed solutions to move forward. The team was ready to create space and reminders to reinforce the group’s responsibility. One way they did so was to by committing to the idea of “Tell Me First”. If someone had an interpersonal issue, they would speak directly to the people involved. If someone went to a third party about the issue, that third party could prompt them to speak to the person involved first. If someone approached a third party for insight into their own contribution or for advice on how best to approach the people involved, they could do so, but not just vent or complain. The most important part was to encourage a direct conversation with those involved, where appropriate. “Tell Me First” is not a rule so much as an intention. When it’s part of the team dynamic and its known in advance, no one feels attacked or dismissed when they’re reminded of it. It gives each person permission to encourage the right kind of conversation and to gently shut down venting, gossip and other unproductive talk. When a team buys into the idea that conflict is everyone’s job, conflict quickly becomes an opportunity for collaboration, improvement and innovation. For most of us, that’s a lot more palatable than staying scared and staying the same.
|
